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Game Analysis:
Wow. I honestly didn’t think I’d make it but somehow I survived the NFL offseason. People talk about how they fight alcoholism and various forms of drug addiction, but the only thing that has me shaking more than a middle schooler who thinks he’s too cool for jackets on a winter day is the wait till we hear those whistles blow on the first games of this NFL season. And yes, I know this is preseason but I don’t care one bit. Being this close to seeing professional football games again makes a man not worry about what part of the season said games are played in. This specific game looks to be set having the Texans go up against the new and improved New England Patriots. One team has two rookies set to be their two best players while the other has a series of savvy vets and an all-time coaching genius. This is an easy pick, give me the Pats.
The Texans are definitely going to be a fun team to watch this year. Definitely not a good team, but a fun one. The main bulk of their hype comes from second and third-overall picks CJ Stroud and Will Anderson Junior. Do these rookies end up panning out the way this franchise hopes they do? Probably not because it’s the Texans and nothing ever works out for them, but I guess ya never know. CJ lit up college football at Ohio State for the two years he got real playing time there. He threw for 8,123 yards, 85 TDs, and only 12 picks. He set the record for most six passing touchdown games and surpassed Justin Fields on the all-time Buckeyes throwing touchdowns list. All in all, it’s hard to fault the Texans for taking him in the top two of this year’s draft. And I don’t even think that Alabama Linebacker Will Anderson Jr needs an introduction, he’s simply that good. The Texans are definitely building something in Houston, but it’s way too early on in their rebuild for me to think they have what it takes to beat a Bill Belichick team.
The New England Patriots have absolutely upgraded this off-season. Which, I guess wasn’t hard to do when you had Matt Patricia and Joe Judge as your joint-Offensive Coordinators the year before. Now that they have Bill O’Brien running the show I have a funny suspicion that rookie year Mac Jones might make a miraculous reappearance. It’s almost like hiring someone to do a job that’s actually trained to do the job is a smart move. That’s why I don’t go to my local McDonald’s with questions about hydrogen-powered vehicles. I also think that they made smart upgrades to their offense by bringing in Juju Smith-Schuyster and Mike Gesicki. No, they’re not the biggest free-agent names, but they add elements to the offense that were sorely missed last season. Plus, on the subject of this year’s first-round picks, have you seen the practice tape for Christian Gonzalez? Oh. Mama. That boy can move. If Bill can turn undrafted corners into JC Jackson, Malcolm Butler, and Jonathan Jones then the league should be terrified about what he might do with a first-round talent at the position.
The Patriots are a better team than the Texans right now and it’s not even close. Bet on the Pats and get your own Friday Beers merch!
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